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Love, Sex and Marriage

Angelo

 

This is a forbidden topic in the Indian psyche. Indians never openly discuss this topic anywhere. The Indian psyche, on the other hand, is willing to accept this topic in the celluloid. But, today’s Indian media, especially, magazines are willing to help the Indian adolescents with articles, interviews and question and answers in this topic. This article is dedicated to the Indian adolescents.

 

A teenager’s usual ethical question is whether it is right to make love with the opposite sex. The answer is a plain no to a teenager. Please don’t get angry with the answer. I will substantiate my reasons for the answer.

 

Falling in love is not wrong, but, falling in love during teenage is wrong. In the age between thirteen and nineteen, the growth of an individual is phenomenally fast. Yet, the growth is not complete at the age of nineteen. This is a period when an individual believes that he or she can be independent of his/her elders. If given a chance, he or she will be absolutely inadequate and be completely dependent on almost every area. The reason is the growth process is not yet over. Generally, a person will have a lot of questions but will not have the right answers. That’s why, during the adolescent falling in love is wrong. A person’s belief and feeling at this age will not go together with the demands of the realities of life. For example, in every area of life, an adolescent will love to behave as an adult, because he/she believes to be an adult. But, unfortunately, he or she hasn’t become an adult. A person will believe that he/she knows everything but in reality, he/she will be helplessly groping like a blind. Can a blind lead another blind? That’s why a teenager should not fall in love. His/her decisions need not necessarily be right. After ten years, when a person looks back at his adolescent period he/she will feel stupid and his/her notions embarrassing. The bottom line is the growth of a person is not adequate to decide about marriage. The western social systems loom large before our eyes as a proof for this theory. A person can choose the partner after 22 or 23 but not before that.

 

The next important question for an adolescent is whether pre-marital sex is wrong. The pre-marital sex is absolutely wrong. Any sex outside marriage is wrong and is absolutely wrong. Sex can be only within the structure of marriage and anything outside cannot be right. Every man expects his bride to be spotless. Thus every woman is not wrong when she expects her groom to be spotless. It is only fair for both the man and woman to be clean. And it is prudent in the age of AIDS to be clean before and after marriage. Mani Ratnams Priya O Priya tells the modern audience clearly that sex outside is wrong and it cannot be justified under normal circumstances.

 

The usual question for an adolescent is whether love marriage or arranged marriage is preferred. A marriage is an institution, especially under the Indian environment. It has its codes. It has its demands. It has its responsibilities. Any marriage can be wonderful whether it is arranged or love marriage, when husband and wife is responsible towards each other and responsible towards their children. Any marriage becomes a hell when one becomes irresponsible and selfish. Man and woman are complementary to each other. Nobody is superior or inferior to each other. In reality, man and woman can only be complementary to each other. Understanding, sensitivity, care and love are the watchwords of any successful marriage. Understanding and sensitivity cannot be taken out of any marriage.

 

Love, sex and marriage can be a beautiful experience when these three occur at the right time, in the right order by the right persons.